I don’t know you and who you were “before mommyhood” (BM), but I was a girl on the move, with a hot job (mostly), doing hot things (interpretable and debatable) and wearing cute outfits with killer shoes and yummy bags (not debatable, but definitely lamentable), and doing generally fun stuff in New York City.
Now, the above stuff, at the time, seemed like a dream that would never end, but that dream had its major speed humps of stress, and a general feeling that something wasn’t right, something didn’t jive in my soul (I use this word a lot, get ready.)
Life marches on, you hit 30, you get the baby-bug, you need to escape from it all. And that I did – to a pretty place in upstate NY that soothed my frayed nerves, and let me hitch myself to someone else’s wagon – namely my husband’s – in the form of business school.
Sure, I’d go, I’d be a supportive wife and go on this journey with him – where it would lead, I never would have guessed at the time, but we left there 2 years later with baby bunny number 1 in the oven, back to NYC, and eventually New Jersey, where I grew up.
Now, before I get attacked for being an ingrate, yes, there are some wonderful things about being with your in-laws, most of which are utterly guessable, such as free babysitting and the wonderful experience of your kids growing up with their grandparents. Not to mention that we were finally able to pay off some big-time debt!
The downsides are ones that are also guessable; can’t come downstairs without a bra? Check. Don’t really feel like getting your groove on with mom and dad down the hall? Check , check. (fabulous for your marriage/sex life by the way). There are a few more (just a few), but that’s a whole other post!
Unfortunately, some of these aforementioned downsides only helped to degrade the person I once was – the enthusiasm, the energy, the spark! was all but lost – the woman inside who was just now on the sidelines still going for the ride, and wanting desperately to find a way off this train seemingly to nowhere.
I finally did it. Four years (I know) and a second child later, I found my way out of the maze rigged not to be solved. I created the escape and discovered the beautiful life that lay just on the other side.
I was only to create it and leave the guilt behind of taking the time for myself that I so desperately needed to get back to me, without losing my precious time with the kids, and actually rediscovering my husband, who had become a stranger over the past 5 years.
What I did was two-fold:
First, I finally started a new career in something that always interested me: Voice Over. I had an actress friend who urged me on and hooked me up with her studio to get the ball rolling. I was told I “had talent”, could do this as a career, and got my butt trained and ready to go!
Creating this reality for myself after all the years of reading, debating, researching, pondering, fantasizing about getting into it was actually here.
It felt great to TAKE ACTION and finally go after my passions…. Which led me to the second thing I did to break out of my Lost in Suburbia life – I launched my web site: Next Life Ventures. Helping Moms Uncover Their Passions and Rediscover Themselves.
Over all these years (I’m talking before college), what I hadn’t realized I was doing – reading and researching not only about voice over – but also about HOW TO UNDERSTAND and FIND YOUR PURPOSE. I have been searching for this “key” forever if feels like.
When I began speaking to other moms, I found they were sort of lost, wandering around and wondering what to do next, too.
We all loved being moms and valued our time with our kids more than anything. The big 1,000 lb gorilla in the room was always that we all wanted to do SOMETHING. We wanted to bring in an income, engage our very intelligent brains and do something that mattered, something we were truly passionate about.
Hence, a web site is born. I started to put together all the resources, articles, coaches, writers, speakers, visionaries, etc etc, that I had come across in my journey, and continue to come across every day! I also share stories of my journey to discover my true purpose and passions, along with profiles of amazing mamas who are living their legends.
I was lost and now I am found. Connecting with other moms and women who have this dazed and confused feeling is so rewarding when they tell me they found some interesting, inspiring connection, helpful information or insight from NLV.
Sometimes, the key resides within you, if you can muster the courage to look inside.
note: We finally moved out of the in-laws house! wohoo! I knew you were wondering….
Amy writes the blog, Next Life Ventures. You can read her latest post HERE.